Lately, I've stuffed my life so full of commitments and obligations that my buttons are fixing to bust any minute. The dizzying haze surrounding my head forced me to my bed this afternoon, where I lay, staring at the diagonal wooden slats in the ceiling. All I could feel was a numbness from head to toe.This isn't how I want my life to be. I thought to myself. Yet, hadn't I been the one to create this blank void where nary a feeling could abide?
Yes. I had created it.
Then, I got to thinking that if I could create such an intense void, I also had the power to create an intense space of joy. This moment of enlightenment was further confirmed to me when I had a visit with my, ahem, therapist. She brought to light the fact that I have been allowing someone in my life bully me. What about life itself? Have I allowed it to bully me?
Yes. Perhaps I had allowed it to do so.
So, tonight, I did what is so very hard for me to do, and I picked up my phone and disappointed a few people by canceling some things. Fascinating how my muscles have already relaxed in my shoulders a little. Interesting how I'm feeling my own breathing pattern again.
By Thursday night at 7:00 p.m., all I want to do is take the stage at the Hotel Café in Los Angeles and feel everything. This is the joy that performing is for me and I don't want to waste it for a minute as an overly-scheduled, basket case-zombie girl. It will be magic, because I am willing to feel it all from the vibration of my lips near the microphone to the tips of my fingers on the keys. Here's hoping that you who come will feel it too.
This show means a lot to me and if you know anyone in the Orange County or L.A. area, I would surely appreciate it if you would kindly let them know about it. I have such great readers. All the show details can be found HERE.
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Dear Mindy, Thank you for being real. Real is good!! Interesting, I hadn't really thought of how the musician enjoys the show. I hope you are feeling fabulous on Friday and that it is everything you hope it to be. I have never been to Kenya. I have family that has and after seeing photographs of their trip I want to go. Jenn
ReplyDeleteOn a completely different note, here's something for your upcoming trip:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.purple-twinkie.com/FlashMovies/kenya-song.php
Enjoy!
When I was your age, dear gal. I, too had moments like that and realized it really is okay to say "no" more often. Do what brings you joy and growth and let the other stuff go for awhile. Your music and your pure voice bring sunshine into our home every time we put it on. Enjoy LA.
ReplyDeleteMindy, I think that's why I relate to your music so much. You use real emotions of different times to create what sings to the souls of those who listen. I've had to do the same thing with photography lately. And in the past it was my dress shop. When something takes over your life, it feels more like an obligation than a passion. Stepping back a bit lets the love and joy back in. You have to be your own priority to continue the beauty you create.
ReplyDeleteIf I were still in Riverside, CA, I would be bringing an army... but I am grateful to be back in UT where I actually have more opportunity. ;D (But OH HOW I MISS the SoCal WEATHER!)
Knock'em DEAD with your talent, charm and beauty, my friend! (((HUGS))) ;D
Mindy I wanted to thank you for your concert in Olympia. We came from north of Seattle and were thrilled to see you and listen to the music we've learned to love.
ReplyDeleteIn Oct. my daughter Becky (32) died from cancer. She left behind four little ones 9,7,3,9mons. My husband and I moved in with her family to help her husband. Before Christmas our daughter from Portland (she was at your concert there)send us your Anchor CD. We all fell in love with it especially the two older girls. It made us feel happy when we listened too it. Thank you, Thank you. Then I surprised them with the trip to Olympia. Bless you and bless you to find balance in your life.