Thursday, February 2, 2012

A Season


I've spent a good part of January in quiet reflection. I'm experiencing a season in my life where being withdrawn from the crowd is all that really appeals to me. No shows. No tours. No lights, camera, action. Just me and the coos of a squishy little blue-eyed baby.

I recognize this season. Considering the periods of creativity in my life, there is a time when I gather ideas and sow seeds. In time, those ideas come to life and yield fruit. Next, the anticipated harvest rolls in, spilling forth a ripe cornucopia. I reap that harvest until there is no more, and thus enter an inevitable state of exhaustion where I know I must go within and rest, lest I perish. And thus, I rest.

Drop by drop, I fill a creative well that has run dry. A stroll through an art exhibit. Drip. A walk through powdery, new snow. Drop. Twenty minutes spent with my nose in a juicy essay. Drip, drip.

At the start of the new year, I pondered what lofty goals I should aim for. But all I kept coming up with was a blank stare.
I've gone to the piano, feeling my way around the keyboard for a hint of an idea. Nothing. I've opened my laptop to write a blog post about a dozen times. Each attempt felt so labored, it hurt. Emails have come filing in with requests for performances and charitable fundraisers. "C'mon compassionate self! Throw me a bone!" Turns out, even my compassion needs a break.

Am I selfish? No. I'm just empty.

This year is my year to fill the well. Hello classic movies, jaunts to the museum, visits to the library, spontaneous vacations, art projects and newly acquired hobbies. Now and then, I'll share with you what I've been filling the well with and I'll be looking to you and your blogs for inspiration as well. Drip, drop. Pitter-pat. Sploosh.

19 comments:

  1. Fill 'er up! Inspiration is a fickle fiend (one letter short of a friend!), and before you know it you will be struck again. But not without some nourishment, because you will need your energy once it arrives. Don't push...just learn to enjoy the quiet.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i miss you. i understand--oh do i ever. but alas ... i still miss you. happy filling my friend. loves.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Would you like to spontaneously hop to somewhere warm with me? Searching for SOMEONE to jaunt off with! Timeshare points burning a hole in one's pocket..

    ReplyDelete
  4. Fill er up girl. I'll send inspiring things your way!

    ReplyDelete
  5. We all need a good well-filling more often than we think. I'm glad you're filling yours (selfishly, of course). :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I know you don't know me, but I am one of your fans. I know this time will give you what you really need! I honestly look at your life and don't know how you do it, with your little family and all. I am impressed with what you have accomplished and I completely respect you for what you are doing. Jennifer

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sandi! You're so sweet and generous! I'm not ready to skip off just yet. I've been away from my kids so much. I think some family trips are in store. Perhaps we can entertain that idea at a future date? Bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Feeling the exact same way for a few days now though I'm no artist :) But it's also this 'empty' state which requires refueling - something that Introverts always need. I love your songs, they spoke my heart and mind. Hope you'll gain back the inspiration soon then continue 'making' great songs that inspire the lost souls like me.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I think every woman can relate to this. We give it all until the well runs dry, and then we refill. Take all the time you need, because when you are filled and start to give again, you give beautiful gifts!

    ReplyDelete
  11. A time and a season...your heart, spirit and mind need this now. So embrace it. Say no and breathe:)

    ReplyDelete
  12. "Am I selfish? No. I'm just empty."...I'm gonna have to steal this... :)

    I hope things turn out for the better soon. Till then, realize that there are many people, unknown to you, whose lives you've touched in so many ways. And although you may feel "empty" at times, know that it's fans like me, who would gladly return the favor.

    ~Loved you in SLC btw...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Take the time you need. We are all thirsty in a wet world with so little water that will quench our souls. Don't settle for a fake fill.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I loved this post! Especially since I can so relate to it! I find creativity and energy often comes through my stillness. Thanks for sharing!
    -Cristi Dame

    ReplyDelete
  15. Amen to that. May your cup soon runneth o'er.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Mindy, I've enjoyed your angelic voice & your music since I discovered you through NieNie's blog. Enjoy this precious time to savor that "squishy" baby...who will surely be one of your life's masterpieces...one of your best & most divinely inspired creations. Be blessed!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Beautiful blog post Mindy! I think every mom goes through this season. We are born to create, inspire, and give, but we all need our time to rest and refill. Can't wait to see what you create after this season of rest :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. I think this is wonderful. Fill your well. And I just want you to know, that yours is the single most inspiring music I have ever listened to. Anchor is my all-time favorite album, I feel like every song was written just for me. It was right? When you have filled your well, I hope you will come to Seattle and do a show!

    ReplyDelete