The Glediator has not been his usual playful self as of late. It turns out that being under the weather and under the gun at work altogether, can make it hard to enjoy life. So, I thought it would be fitting to cheer up the Glediator and make a list of the top ten funniest things he's ever done. Here they are in no particular order:
1.) One December night some odd years back, I climbed into bed early. After a few minutes, the door creaked open and the Glediator began to sing "Farty Claus is Coming to Bed" in the style of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town."
2.) For seven years, the Glediator wore the same pair of Doc Martin sandals, day in and day out - even through the snowy winters. His employees all made fun of those ratty old sandals, so he started flinging them at people during work hours when they least expected it. After he had stapled them back together with a staple gun a half dozen times, they mysteriously disappeared. I think they disintegrated.
3.) This last Easter, he stole his Dad's American Express (the one with no limit) and put it in an Easter egg for the family Easter egg hunt.
4.) The Glediator has a tattoo of the God of Fertility on his ankle. Seriously. It was a high school peer pressure thing. (But I secretly really like it).
5.) Did you know that the Glediator has an alter ego? His name is Chin Wah and he is Chinese. I first became acquainted with Chin Wah on our honeymoon. He usually surfaces during potentially romantic moments.
6.) His Beavis and Butthead impersonation is spot on.
7.) Once, on a trip to Puerto Vallarta, Gleddy downed more than two dozen jalapenos in a jalapeno-eating contest with his little brother, Dustin.
8.) During a trip to Europe, with the same brother (Dustin), they rode around Rome together on a scooter and accidentally entered the freeway on an off-ramp, blatantly going against traffic (Dustin shrieking like a little girl the whole time).
9.) During my labor with Jackson, the Glediator rented and watched Vertical Limit in the delivery room. Wait a second, that wasn't funny.
10.) And lastly, in our first house as newly weds, the Glediator remodeled the tile floor in the bathroom. However, it raised the floor up a few inches which prevented the door from fitting back in it's frame. So he simply threw it away and never replaced it. Needless to say, I drove to the nearest gas station whenever nature called.
Get well soon, Glediator!