Lately I've treated my life as if it were some sort of Chuck-A-Rama, loading my plate with a smorgasbord of commitments. The only problem is, I stuff my face with as much as I can of each selection, but then I'm too full and too sick to finish the rest. I don't plan to keep this up much longer. Does anyone out there have any advice on making life more efficient without bailing on your commitments?
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Nope. Sorry Mindy. I have the same problems...when are you coming? We want to see you!
ReplyDeleterecruit willing, efficient friends!=)
ReplyDeletelove your metaphor by the way.=)
ReplyDeleteIt is okay to say No in the first place. Don't have to please everybody. Your time is your time....to give when you can and when you want to.
ReplyDeleteI found that things work best for me when I have a franklin-covey planner...I pace myself and write down the smallest details. For example: I commit to do the costumes for my daughters kindergarten opera. I will write down "create sketches" immediately. But that same day I might have something a little more pressing to do instead of this sketch that needs to be done in a week...so I will push the sketch to the next day and get the puked on clothes washed instead that I committed to doing for my neighbor. These are just silly examples...but if you write them all down then you can number and prioritize a little more easily. This also allows you a sense of timelining. When I was my busiest this always worked out beautifully for me. I can't remember everything, so I have to write it all down....of course, I need to get back to that as my life seems to be falling apart at the moment. No franklin planners in Doha, unfortunately. Thanks for the reminder to get reorganized.
ReplyDeleteI loved the old phrase my sister ( who is the Pta president, career women, mom, taking food to sick people, home decorater, recycler, avid reader..etc) A comment someone shared with her.
ReplyDeleteThe horse that is easiest to catch get's ridden the most!
So true, don't be that horse...You are much to pretty.
Make sure you get your priorities first. For example I always check out the desert table before getting my main course. That way I can balance things to make sure I do not miss my deserts. Some people even go there first... but I feel balance and priorities win in the end.
ReplyDeleteMindy, I hear ya on this one. Life can get out of hand in the blink of an eye.
ReplyDeleteYou're the type of person who 1. has the capabilities to do almost anything, and 2. also has the excitement/enthusiasm that draws people to you! For those reasons (and more) that is why you get asked. When you have the capabilities and resources people of course want you involved.
So, here is my suggestion and I've found what works for me. Simply say,
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"Am I the first person you've asked?"
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If you are, follow up with, "I'd love to, but my schedule is pretty full right now. Maybe someone else could help you?"
If they've exhausted every name on the list, then you feel good about saying yes, or you could suggest someone else.
You'll find most of the time you're the go-to-girl, and just by asking that simple question you can pass along the opportunity to someone else who could also have the resources but just lack the chance to shine.
Hope that helps!
Sister Beck came and spoke to our Stake Relief Society Sisters not too long ago, and a young Mother asked (essentially) the same question. Sister Beck said her life can get pretty hectic with commitments, plus her commitment to family, the Lord, etc. She explained as follows:
ReplyDeleteYou make a list of the things you have to do today/this week. They go in 1 of 3 categories.
MUST be done today/this week
SHOULD be done today/this week
WOULD BE NICE to get done today/this week.
I'm trying to learn this concept and adapt it in my own life too. Hope it helps!
its ok to ask for and accept help. you are not a failure if you have to ask for help.
ReplyDeleteMindy,
ReplyDeleteUsing the Chuck-O-Rama metaphor you cannot go and stuff your face at each station or you will end up feeling sick, tired, unhealthy and wishing you would have never gone there in the first place. In fact sometimes eating or doing too much of anything will cause people to never want to go back to that place again. It is best not to go there and over-do it. Everything is good in moderation. You have to learn just to thank people for the opportunity and say NO when you can't do it. People will always return to those people who always say yes. I use to be like this and I became angry and would not answer the phone or run when I would see certain people coming my way. My family suffered because of me wanting to be everything to everybody. I have found that we are all happier when I do things on my own terms. You can still serve and help people, you will just feel better about it. By saying no you will allow other people to have an opportunity that they might not have had if you would have said yes. "Don't worry, BE HAPPY"!
You have some great advice so far, here is something that works for me. Whenever anyone asks me to do something, instead of telling them yes, right away, which is what I used to feel pressured to do, I now tell them, "let me think about it and I'll get back to you". That way it gives me time to go home, check my calendar and really decide if I can fit one more thing into my schedule. Simple as that!
ReplyDeleteA good thing to consider is every time you say yes to someone else outside your family you are saying no to those in your family. You will be taking time away from them and away from spending some time on your own.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing Mindy! Life is a journey of learning and it's so sweet to have wonderful people like you on the journey, too. :)
ReplyDeleteWow these are some great thoughts! I hope I can remember them!
ReplyDelete